You are your most precious commodity.
There are two types of people in this world. Resistant and receptive. This applies all across the board, from corporations to couples. The resistant person is a dominant personality: narcissistic, arrogant, immovable. The receptive person is a flexible personality: agreeable, open-minded, committed to cooperation for the greater good.
After decades of working with the predictable contrast of these two personalities, I’ve learned this. Receptive people have dropped the ball. Yes, I’m critiquing the sweet ones amongst you. Why? You have a dirty little secret. You don’t like to get in trouble. You don’t want to feel that queasy feeling in your stomach that comes with confrontation. You’ve mastered the art of dodging emotional bullets.
Why am I treating this as an all or nothing issue? Because dealing with a dominating personality feels like an all or nothing proposal. It’s a dead end before it’s even begun. There’s no hint of compromise, flexibility, or consideration – only push back, over-blown ego, and stonewalling. It’s incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to confront your Nemesis. Yes, I mean Nemesis.
Simply put, your gut instinct is correct. Confronting a strong-willed personality who’s personal agenda is foremost on his or her list is a daunting endeavor. Is this enough reason to withdraw your vote, your preference, or your inherent wisdom? Let me read your mind.
“It’s not worth fighting about. It’s not that important. I can give in this time. I won’t win the argument anyway, so why try? She/he will never change; it’s just the way things are. “
Stop and think about this. By remaining passive, you’re living a lie. You’re hurting yourself and your relationship. Not only are you robbing your beloved the opportunity to open his or her heart to the gift of generosity, you’re hurting yourself by being a “Yes, dear,” a martyr, an eager gossiper, a wuss, and/or a cynic in love. Unless or until you choose to officially take the vows of selfless devotion, you are a free citizen, entitled to the rights of your preferences. Do you dare think of yourself as entitled? Do you dare expose your true self to the person you love? If “Yes,” here is your coaching assignment.
The Mantra of Me: Every morning, upon waking, (if you are alone) lie quietly in bed, eyes closed. With calm and caring conviction, for one full minute – slowly, clearly repeat aloud: “Me…. Me…. Me…. Me…” Put 3 seconds between each “Me.” Finish with two deep inhales & exhales. Remain quiet and still for 2 minutes as the mantra sets in. *If you aren’t alone, set a private moment & place, early in the day.