When you assume, u make an ass out of u and me.
Look, I’m on your side, but most of you guys don’t know how to handle an upset woman. Let me make it easy for you.
Here’s the scene. You’re having dinner with another couple. The topic of health, exercise, and finding time for the gym comes up. Everyone’s candid with their comments, so you spontaneously add, “Once Susan stops volunteering so much, she’ll go to the gym and get back that beautiful body she started out with!”
You may have assumed this was funny, or it maybe was just one of your sarcastic quips. I choose to give men the benefit of the doubt. I won’t assume you intentionally engineered a slam-dunk critique. Here’s where I mention your intentions don’t matter. Redirect your focus to the potential impact of your off-the-cuff blurt.
Hello! You’re talking about your woman, not a guy friend. We’re a different species, gender wise. So all bets are off in terms of your intentions. Your girlfriend is fuming and crushed. The look on her
face says, “You’re in trouble.”
What is a man’s #1 response if he finds himself feeling ambushed and erroneously charged with criminal intent for no clear crime? Three dirty words: “Calm down. Relax.”
Guys, you might as well throw a cherry bomb into the center of the table. These are fighting words. Not an ounce of comfort will be had. But permanent damage has not been done. You can pull this out of the nose dive with a simple phrase and gesture.
Step #1: Gently, sincerely say, “Babe, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.”
Step #2: Stop talking. Be quiet. Simply pull her head onto your chest, hold her, stroke her hair.
FYI:Ladies. Don’t assume the worst of a man if he messes up. If he sincerely acknowledges your feelings, let him off the hook. NOW. Do not linger or languish in your hurt feelings. DO NOT.