THE THREE DIRTIEST WORDS A MAN CAN SAY TO A WOMAN

When you assume, u make an ass out of u and me.
                                                                             Noel Coward                                                                                                                      

Look, I’m on your side, but most of you guys don’t know how to handle an upset woman. Let me make it easy for you.

Here’s the scene. You’re having dinner with another couple. The topic of health, exercise, and finding time for the gym comes up. Everyone’s candid with their comments, so you spontaneously add, “Once Susan stops volunteering so much, she’ll go to the gym and get back that beautiful body she started out with!” 

You may have assumed this was funny, or it maybe was just one of your sarcastic quips. I choose to give men the benefit of the doubt. I won’t assume you intentionally engineered a slam-dunk critique. Here’s where I mention your intentions don’t matter. Redirect your focus to the potential impact of your off-the-cuff blurt.

Hello! You’re talking about your woman, not a guy friend. We’re a different species, gender wise. So all bets are off in terms of your intentions. Your girlfriend is fuming and crushed. The look on her
face says, “You’re in trouble.” 

What is a man’s #1 response if he finds himself feeling ambushed and erroneously charged with criminal intent for no clear crime? Three dirty words: “Calm down. Relax.”

Guys, you might as well throw a cherry bomb into the center of the table. These are fighting words. Not an ounce of comfort will be had. But permanent damage has not been done. You can pull this out of the nose dive with a simple phrase and gesture.

Step #1: Gently, sincerely say, “Babe, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Step #2: Stop talking. Be quiet. Simply pull her head onto your chest, hold her, stroke her hair.

Done?                                                                                                                                              Done.

FYI:Ladies. Don’t assume the worst of a man if he messes up. If he sincerely acknowledges your feelings, let him off the hook. NOW. Do not linger or languish in your hurt feelings. DO NOT.

 

 

 

 

WHAT YOU CAN LEARN ABOUT LOVE FROM A KNIFE SALESMAN AND A MAKE-UP ARTIST

Most relationship damage doesn’t stem from malicious intent. The usual culprits? Ignorance, sloth, fear.
                                                                                      Pamela Hogan
 
Do you wonder how a relationship can switch from ecstasy to agony? Do you find yourself doubting love can work? If you’re crossing over to the cynical side, let me ask you a question. Do you know how love works? Do you really? 
 
If you are the kind of person who thinks that you know what you’re doing even when you don’t have a clue – up until a month ago I may have judged you. My bad, my bias. Last month when I walked through the doorway of a Sephora store, I got a big ego jolt. I realized I’d joined the ranks of the know-it-alls
 
Greeting me at the front entry of Sephora, Sandi, a gorgeous perky too-friendly sales person, AKA “cosmetic expert,” asked if she could help me. With a quick smooth cool, “No, I know what I want,” I breezed by her and headed for the foundation section. 
 
I was lost in a sea of choices. Within 10 minutes, I knew I needed help. I needed Sandi. Voila! Like a a magician, she read my face from a distance and took a chance at breaking my icy shell. 15 minutes later, I’m humbly happily praising Sandi for opening up a whole new world about how foundation works, how to apply a green tint gel underneath the foundation to neutralize my skin tone, topped off with the brush that’s just right for my needs.
 
Now, let’s bring you men into one of your areas of expertise. What do you think you know about cooking knives? A friend shared a story about his visit to Sur La Table, looking to buy a carving knife for a roast. The salesman led him to 8 possibilities and then led him to the computer for 20 more brand choices. Here’s what he learned in crazy detail about the world of cooking knives:
Types                      Brands 
butterfly knives    2  
butcher knives      28 
cake knives            13
cheese knives        36
chef knives             287
clam knives            16
boning knives        61
pairing knives       188
bread slicers          354
 
The moral of these two stories? This is a moment in time when you can decide your own fate. Either shrug your shoulders and go to your default mode, “Aww, heck, what’s to know about love?” Or get your Google on and find out what the experts know about how to recover your faith in love and live happily ever after. Yes. Love can work. Love does work.