CONFIDENCE IS A RESULT- NOT AN INTENTION

Confidence comes from taking the risk to follow your instincts.
 
Do you look around and wonder why everyone else seems to be succeeding in love, at a career, or an amazing lifestyle? Well I can tell you, it’s not luck, it’s courage. The successful, the happily-in-love, the movers and shakers… are not daunted or held back by fear, doubt, or worry. They’re purely motivated to find out and fail, or find out and succeed. And they do fail, and they do succeed. And they are envied.
 
Think about it. What was the most recent risk you took? Calling someone up for a first date? Speaking up about your new idea in a business meeting? Initiating conversation in the Starbuck’s line? And what did you go through before you took that leap of faith?
 
Look, there are three kinds of people. 1) The Unflappable. These are naturally brave (brash?) risk takers. They take action when an impulse strikes. 2) The Second-guessers. They remain stuck and miserable in the courthouse of their mind, weighing the possible outcomes, risks, consequences. 3) The Determined. They feel that queasy feeling in the stomach, they take a deep breath, then they act on their instinct.
 
Do not make the mistake of assuming that it’s easier for confident people to take risks. There is only one difference between you and the Determined or the Unflappable. Finding out exactly where their instincts will take them is of more value than playing it safe.
 
At the end of your life, do you want to have played out all your cards and found out where they led you? Or do you want to hold on to your cards tightly, and take them neatly to your grave? If the moment comes and youre willing to leave your comfort zone, here are your 3 tools:                                                                                               
1) Commitment: Decide once and for all if you’re willing to risk failing or looking foolish to gain success in love, lifestyle, and work. No more wavering. Yes or No. Look into the mirror. Now declare  your intention with vigor.                                                
                                                     
2) Action: When you have an urge or impulse to speak up or take an action. Step up to the plate and swing. Do it. Take three risks per day.
 
3) Inspiration: Read 4 biographies of successful people. Notice how many failures (professional and personal) they sustained on their way to success and happiness. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

ARE YOU GAMBLING ON YOUR SEX LIFE?

             
        Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy;    
                 among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex. 
                                                                           ~ Barbara Cartland
 
Is sex a vital part of your relationship or is it on the back burner? Do you have to rely on masturbation or porn to satisfy yourself? Or, are you the lackluster partner … just too exhausted after all the demands of the day. 
 
Look, if you’re out of sync with your libido, you’re not alone. Life is fast paced and stress takes its toll. Sex can seem like a chore not a treat. The thing is, how you see the lack of sex matters. If you think your mate can or should be able to settle for sex once a month or less, you’re in the twilight zone. 
 
Either your naivety or your judgment about sex is showing.  
Think about it. Do you respect and care about your partner’s     desire to have sex with you more often? Are you flattered?    
S/he chose you as the love and lover of his/her life!
 
Here’s the deal. Love and sex go together. If your relationship started as a romance, it’s meant to stay a romance. Without a      
flirtatious sex life, something is terribly lost. The zest inevitably goes flat, becomes platonic, and whether you want to believe it or not, your relationship is at risk. You would be surprised – no, shocked – at the number of people you know right now that are having or have had an affair. 
 
Sex Revival #1) For 2 weeks – 3 times per week Each take turns of 5 minutes of giving naked full-body caressing (not massaging). No talking, no wise-cracks. NO sex.
 
Sex Revival #2) For one month: Each initiate sex once a week. Physiologically, once your body is having sex more often, your
appetite kicks in and literally activates sexual momentum. 
Sexual Safety Zone: 2-3x per week. 
 
 
 
 
 

10 CORE VALUES OF PERSONAL INTEGRITY

                     Examine the condition of your character,                                                   and make sure your words and actions match up.                                ~ John C. Maxwell ~                                                                  
                                                                                         
I pledge to myself these core values:
 
1. My convictions are stronger than my fears.
2. My vision is clearer than my doubt.
3. My spiritual sensitivity is louder than popular opinion.
4. My self-esteem is deeper than self-protection.
5. My appreciation for discipline surpasses my desire for leisure.
6. My dissatisfaction is more forceful than the status quo.
7. My poise is more unshakable than my panic.
8 My risk taking is stronger than seeking safety.
9. Right actions are more robust than rationalization.
10. I desire to reach my potential more than to appease people.
 
This list is from leadership expert John C. Maxwell’s book:         Talent is Never Enough
 

YOU HAD ME AT HELLO

“I love you. You… you complete me. And I just… 
Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at hello.”
 
These famous lines from the movie Jerry Maguire represent shaky ground in a love relationship. After weeks of disappearing without a word, (Tom Cruise) Jerry, the boyfriend, steps into the room, and (Rene Zellwiger) Dorothy, melts – no, swoons – at the very sight of him. “You had me at hello,” was her dastardly duh ditzy declaration. No explanation necessary.
 
The danger here is that, for Dorothy, love is all there is. True, at the beginning, we are dazzled and daft. But when love the feeling trumps love the action, especially this early…red flag. The message, “You can act like an ass, no explanation or revelation necessary. Just tell me you love me.” 
 
If all we need is love the feeling, we wouldn’t hear so much about heartbreak. But deep down, we know what love is and what love isn’t. Still, we allow heartache. We allow shoddy behavior. We suck it up and allow ourselves to be hurt, disappointed, shattered. Then we dust ourselves off (or sprinkle on our fairy dust) and go back into the hurt locker. 
 
Stop!
 
Think about it. What’s your response to shoddy behavior? What change do you require in order to forgive your boyfriend, or guys – what new attitude do you expect from your girlfriend? Is it working? Are you each learning and growing along the way? Or are you settling for crumbs? The quality of joy in your love life is directly related to keeping your wits about you and seeing straight.  Accountability=Love. Got it? Don’t ever forget it.